I rarely use words like grateful or gratitude. When it comes to gratitude I choose my verbal utterances carefully, and (99% of the time) I use the word appreciation instead.
Declining the use of the word gratitude was not based on an inability to feel appreciation; it was based on noticing what appeared to be an energetic drain when I did.
Feeling or expressing gratitude drains you? Hmmm.
Casually mentioning this, sometime later while socializing, drew suspicion. I imaged I appeared (at best) arrogant; maybe even an ingrate. Who refuses to be grateful; whoever heard of that? “What an asshole”, my mindreading abilities assured me others were thinking.
I began investigating the energetic nature of gratitude when I repeatedly noticed an dip in my energy any time I expressed it.
When I expressed gratitude (which admittedly wasn’t often) I felt somehow smaller and I had to acknowledge an immediate sense of “energetic depression”.
When I say depression I’m speaking of an energetic sense of contraction; indirectly a sense of being somehow smaller than those around me and specifically, the person or situation I was directing my gratitude toward (okay that’s weird).
Without getting into a whole big discussion regarding the power we collectively attribute to words (or our collective agreement on each words meaning) I want you to notice the next time a friend mentions their terrific gratitude journal. Or how grateful they felt when…and then I want you to recall the last time you really felt gratitude; don’t think your way through this—feel what your body tells you.
Can you recall the feeling? Do you feel that “slightly smaller” sense like a “less than” sensation? That little soft entreaty that says you’re just a bit below the person or thing you’re directing your gratitude toward? Isn’t that a supplicating feeling?
My point isn’t about the psychology of gratitude (although I think this may speak directly to it) my point is from an energetic point of view.
Whether you’re aware of the sensation or not, it’s happening and it’s not a good thing. That’s the reason we often feel indebted after expressing it. Expressing gratitude a few times a year isn’t going to hurt you but if you’re one of those that keep a gratitude journal or “practice” feeling grateful then you’re going to leak a lot of energy—and that’s not a good thing.
Gratitude can be a destabilizing practise and if we were to express everything we did and everything we said as an equation; a number with a plus or minus, and we were to assume 100% was the whole number of what anything could be—the word gratitude would be -20 or -30.
FYI the prophet Jesus once said place no man above you, for we are all equal…
If this were a fundamental Christian tenet then at the very least it would be spiritually “incorrect” to engage in gratitude.
Given that the (theoretic) equation of the word or practice of gratitude is somewhere between -20 or -30, it therefore undermines the intrinsic value of one human being compared to another.
All energy is continuously in flux—always expanding or contracting. Practicing gratitude causes the energetic value of your being to contract. Think of a full shiny balloon losing air and as it deflates dullness comes over it—a loss of shine. Or you got up this morning feeling all of 100 then began your daily practice of gratitude. That value would leak your energy down to somewhere between 70 or 80 percent.
While practicing gratitude you notice something alright, but it isn’t peace; it’s a false humility; otherwise why would you want to walk around smaller than you’re meant to? Playing small doesn’t help you or anyone.
I’m not saying you’re false, or even that your intentions are. I’m saying you were falsely lead—to believe that the humility realized from practicing gratitude was good.
So, Now What? The next time you’re feeling grateful, do yourself a solid and don’t say it. Just for this one time (think of it as a science experiment—Physics 101) just say appreciate instead, and watch how your energy expands—in every direction—pulsing and strong.
Nothing (depressively) little about you now :0)
Do you know someone this blog post might help? Want to share it to social media or with your BFF? Feel free because I’d appreciate that and you for doing so. (I’m kinda thankful that way).
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